


When Peter's memories started coming back

by rethrin



Series: Many Times Peter and Jared Cuddled [3]
Category: Franklin & Bash
Genre: Amnesia, Established Relationship, M/M, Memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-10
Updated: 2011-08-10
Packaged: 2017-11-10 23:08:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/471734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rethrin/pseuds/rethrin





	When Peter's memories started coming back

It doesn't come back all at once. 

First he starts to feel like there's a ghost in the room with him. And then slowly he works out it doesn't feel like a ghost at all, it's not that there's something there, it's that there's something not. And he can't place it. And that lasts for weeks. 

And then he remembers the feel of a leather settee. And a pattern of curtains maybe, or a pillow. And remembering feels so strange after all this time. And he's terrified, so scared of what he might remember, and more scared this will be all there is.

And then he remembers buying his first guitar. And then the gates seem to open and there's no sense to it, no pattern. And he remembers graduating. And he remembers getting drunk at his aunt's wedding when he was thirteen. And he remembers the first song he ever wrote. And he remembers falling over on the pavement, outside the courts, and sirens coming towards him. And he remembers his first kiss. And he remembers camping in his back garden during summer holidays. And he remembers running out of gas and having to walk for miles to find help. And he remembers his dad teaching him to drive. And he remembers being in front of a jury for the first time. And he remembers jumping out of a plane, absolutely no faith in the parachute on his back. And he remembers finding his dad's porn collection. And he remembers an old jacket he wore at college. And he remembers an aftershave. And he remembers his mom singing to him. And he remembers trick or treating, dressed as a nun. And he remembers a woman with red hair, feeling sick with nerves when he asked her out for the first time. And he remembers winning a small fortune on the big wheel a some casino in Vegas. And then losing it at roulette.

And in everything he remembers, there's the same ghost-like feeling, something else there with him, something he can't place. He remembers something safe and solid right behind him but somehow he can't turn around and look at it, can never quite catch it.

And then he phones his mom and he tells her that he remembers how she used to sing to him when he couldn't sleep, and how she used to dance when she was cooking, and how she taught him to meditate, and the party she threw him when he passed the bar, and the time she crashed the car into the pool, and the first time they got high together, when they painted flowers on the street. And she cries, and they talk. 

And then she asks him if he's called Jared.

And then he remembers someone sitting beside him when he was studying, panicking, the night before the bar. And he remembers someone smiling at him as he pulled the fire alarm in college. And he remembers someone hugging him when he lost his first case. And he remembers someone backing him up when he got into a crazy fight with the biggest guy in school. And he remembers someone standing with him, making a joke that somehow makes him smile even though they've both just been put in detention. And he remembers that same someone standing with him, making a joke that somehow makes him smile even though they've both just been arrested for contempt. And he remembers someone holding his hand sometimes when they watched movies in the dark. And he remembers someone who always stood close, always sat close, who sometimes even slept close. And then he remembers someone kissing him quietly and pleadingly one night in the dark. And he remembers the way Jared fits against him, and he remembers the way Jared tastes, and the way he moans, and the way he looks when Peter smiles at him, and how it feels when he smiles back. 

And then he remembers waking up in the hospital, with a stranger sleeping in the chair next to him. He remembers the look on his face when Peter asked who he was, and he remembers the nurses making him leave. He remembers talking to him day after day for months, and he remembers the way he shouted and then the way he cried. And Peter remembers feeling nothing, looking at him and feeling nothing. 

And then he feels sick, and he tells his mom he has to go, and he hangs up and he grabs his keys.

And then it's hours later and he's in LA and the cave looks just the same, and he's sitting in his car and he realises he doesn't even know if he'll be here. And then he realises that even if he is, he might not be alone. And then he realises that there is no way he can get out of this car and go into that house and find Jared with someone else. And he starts the engine. Only then he stops the engine, and just sits there because he doesn't have anywhere to go. The place he's been living for the past four years isn't a home, his only home is right here in front of him. 

So then it's an hour later, and he gives up, gets out of the car and walks to the door.

  


* * *

  


And then Carmen's crying when she sees him, and hugging him. And then he's crying too, and he remembers meeting her, and he remembers her trial, and he remembers her moving in, and he remembers playing foosball with her until six in the morning one time when he'd argued with Janie and couldn't sleep. And he remembers a million other small things, but he doesn't remember her looking so old. And after a couple of minutes she lets go, and realises he's looking, terrified, towards Jared's door, and he asks her quietly if he's there, if there's someone else, and she looks at him like he's an idiot and shakes her head, and gives him a small shove. And then he feels like he's floating as he moves down the corridor.

And he doesn't knock, he just steps inside. And then Jared's right there, asleep and so beautiful, and Peter's heart hurts. And Peter remembers everything, _everything_ , every time Jared has looked at him, smiled at him, laughed at him, and he wants to stand and look at him forever. But much more than that he needs to touch him, so he strokes Jared's arm, trying to wake him gently. And at first Jared's body simply moves willingly towards him, welcoming him into his bed the way he always did. And Peter can't breathe. And then Jared wakes up with a start, scared that someone's there, he jerks backwards. But the moment his eyes focus he reaches forwards again instead. And he holds Peter's arm hard enough to bruise, but he's shaking, and he forgets to breathe, and he curves his hand around Peter's neck, strokes his hair, and then he moans, and his eyes fill with tears, and he's solid under Peter's touch and then he's pulling him down, into the bed, and pressing his face into Peter's chest, breathing him in. And then Peter feels real again for the first time, real and solid and alive. And Peter says he's sorry, and he says it again and again, because Jared's crying and shaking his head, and Peter kisses him, and holds him, and says he's sorry and that he remembers everything and he's been empty for four years and he didn't know, Jared has to believe he just didn't know, and he would never have left him if he'd known, and he's so sorry. And Jared kisses him back, and winds their bodies together, and it feels like an eternity before Jared says anything, his breath shakes whenever he tries, and he just holds Peter tight, touches him, and breathes. 

And then eventually he sighs quietly into Peter's neck and he's still shaking, and he says, "You are _you_ , right?" and Peter nods hard and feels his chest tighten at the fear in Jared's voice. And then Jared looks at him, just looks at him for whole minutes, and then he whispers, "I've missed you so much," and Peter moans and Jared pulls him down and kisses him again.


End file.
